In 2007 an employee of a popular online poker site got access to the super user account. A super user account cannot play the actual game, but it can see every player’s hole cards and open or close tables. It was designed to efficiently reveal any errors in the current software system. This employee conspired with several other players and took millions from the online poker community.
Do you want access to the Plenty of Fish super-user account? Follow these steps:
1. Go to POF.com
2. Create a new account
3. Check the box that says female instead of male.
4. Get a picture of a hot girl from Google images.
Contrary to conventional thought, in the game of online dating, your fellow mates are the opponents. The women are the cards that you are dealt and the chips that you are competing for. They need to be played right and you don’t want to blow your load on the wrong hand. But more importantly, you can see your opponents fucking cards.
In order for us to attract the opposite sex, we must first study our opponents. One of the most eye-opening experiences for me was when I created a fake female profile with a girl’s photo that I found typing “hot girl” on Google images. The results were utterly shocking. Some important observations:
1. I received 80 messages 20 minutes after I opened up an account.
2. In 2 days I received over 500 messages. It was a full-time job trying to read messages, and I wasn’t even responding to them.
3. Based on first message alone, it was disturbingly clear to me which guys were getting laid and which weren’t.
4.Guy’s profiles were disgustingly pathetic.
5. Two of my friends messaged me thinking I was a hot girl. I fucked with them, had them meet me somewhere, and then took a photo of their faces when they saw me. *This is not an important observation.
Some examples of typical messages I was getting: (with exact punctuation and spelling)
1. So, you’re absolutely gorgeous. I’d love to get a chance to chat sometime and get to know you a bit. Hope to hear back.
2. Irish guy saying hi 
3. Congrats, you came up as a match for me by pof. Do you feel pretty lucky about that? Lol 
4. Nice profile. How’s your week so far?
5. You are gorgeous
6. Nice simple profile. I am new to this as well. It doesn’t seem like you need to be on this site. I’m pretty skeptical of the whole online dating thing but would be interested in talking with you. Any cool plans for the week?
7. Sup, Hey, or Hi
8. Hey there whats up? i am 20 years old, i am italian, polish and norwegian, i love music, reading and writing. I have gone to culinary school aswell as audio production. I am an honest, sweet and caring guy. I enjoy traveling, fishing and cuddling. I am currently taking the year off from classes I am going to school for criminal justice. How are you??
9. Hi, how are you? I swear I’ve seen you somewhere before, I’m pretty sure it was NY fashion week last year. We’re you there?
10. Hello stuning u are just gorgeous
These messages are awful. They are not personalized and they lack wit and humor. You need to emotionally stimulate a woman in order to spark up any sort of conversation. Strength in both messages and profiles come with differentiation from the masses.
Check out what 95% of guys profiles look like (unedited and real):
Hi everyone. For work, I drive a school bus in Rockland and on the weekends I work at a wine and liquor store. So I’m always between Rockland and Orange Counties. I graduated from a 2-yr college in ’07. I like to go storm chasing! I visit California at least once a year to visit my niece and nephew. I ride my quad a lot and I’m very outdoorsy. I love fishing, hiking, camping, and tide pooling. Bonfires are my favorite!
In the wintertime I cut and chop up firewood to keep warm. I also go around the town when it snows and snowblow a few driveways. And when I can, I snowboard. Anything else, just ask. I won’t bite. This profile doesn’t describe me very well at all. Ask me some questions. I hate writing about myself and not knowing who’s going to read it.
Hey all. I like to think of myself as a down to earth guy and am really easy to get along with. I like going out to clubs, lounges, bars, etc. but also like to stay in and watch a good movie or do something of that sort with the right girl. I’m pretty adventurous and always like to be doing something whether its going out or just hanging out. In my free time I work out and play sports primarily basketball GO KNICKS lol. I love house music but also listen to hip hop, r&b and whatever else the radio plays lol. I’m on here looking to meet a cute girl with a sense of humor that I can have fun with and if all goes right we can take it further. Any other questions feel free to hit me up don’t be shy ladies
Hey! I would hate to sound like the other thousand people who messaged you, so I will start off with the bad; I am a terrible dancer, I say long words phonetically, and I can be very sarcastic. My idea of a fun night is at a local bar with a good group of friends, not getting grinded on by the situation and his bros while they creep on girls at a club. I’ve been in my field of work for over a year now and can’t wait to further my career; I have my MBA in Aviation Management and would like to find someone who is also well educated and a professional. Before my switch to aviation I was a sport management major, so yes sports are a huge part of my life; Jets, Yankees, and Knicks. The summer is the best part of the year, being at the beach and on the water is my favorite place. Staying in shape and being healthy is also a big part of my life, whether it be the gym or going on a bike ride. If you’d like to know more, message me.
These profiles all reek of desperation and boredom. The innate masculine thought process does not mesh well with success online. It seems as though most guys who join online dating are there because they are sick of playing the game at the bar/club scene or they just don’t have any game. I’ve seen countless profiles that exemplify this “I am just going to be real” attitude. We are all capable of writing a profile similar to these, and if you currently have a profile, I bet it looks something like the above.
The problem with these types of profiles it that they show weakness and that you have given up on the games. Just because it is online dating doesn’t mean that the games end. If you want success, you must be willing to play the game, no matter how pathetic it might be.
We are socially conditioned to think that women are looking for nice guys. We are conditioned to be less dominate. Women are socially conditioned to repress their desire to be dominated and to find a “nice” guy. But in reality, they will always be genetically attracted to a confident asshole over nice-guy-joe. The reason is, historically, assholes get what they want.
Sometimes girls say they aren’t looking for games either, but it takes years to develop the skills of not listening to your instincts. (I see a no-game attitude in some older women looking to settle down) For guys, because we choose our sexual partners so heavily based on looks, are able to want to sleep with a girl if no game is played. The reason attractive and unattractive men BOTH fail online is because we assume women are on the same paradigm as us. We need to understand that women are much less visually aroused than us, an attribute that has cut the pornography market in half.
Women fall in love with what they hear and men fall in love with what they see. That’s why men lie and women wear makeup. Or in the case of online dating, that’s why men try to hard and women use tricky camera angles.
Always remember that men are on a qualifying basis with whom they plan to sleep with and women are on a disqualifying basis. Men will see a woman and convince themselves of a reason to sleep with her. (For instance, I’m horny and drunk and she has nice breasts etc.) Women, on the other hand, search for something that you do wrong to disqualify you as a potential mate, whether it be in the course of a night, in your pathetic online dating profile, or text messages.
Learning what not to do is the first step to being successful with women online. Sign up, and stay tuned.
- America’s #1 Online Dater
